Faking My Way Through Impostor Syndrome
I have some pretty severe impostor syndrome going on right now. The bitchy voice in my head keeps saying things like, "you don't actually know anything", "who are you to give anyone any advice" and "no one cares what you think."
Case in point- I drafted, but didn't publish, a pithy little post on the whole Super Bowl halftime show...situation. For about a week it was a hot topic, and like anyone, I had my own opinions. And what is my own blog for except to express said opinions? But there I was, unwilling to hit the publish button.
I'd drafted it happily enough. Edited as happily as you're able to edit anything. Selected a lovely photo for some cover art. But then...
I just let it sit. And sit. And sit. Because as I was about to click the word "publish" in the upper right corner, the bitch in my head said "why do you think your opinion matters?". I couldn't answer her, so I just let it go.
Is that one post ultimately THAT important? No. But when you do that over and over and over again, you end up with a blog that only gets a post or two a year and novel that sits completed, but unpublished.
The truth is that I am not an expert about anything, and I have to be cool with it. I've resolved to just fake the confidence and press on anyway. At least that way I can spend less time excessively over thinking things that don't matter in my life and move on to the things that do.
So all of this to say, dear readers, you are about to learn a lot more about my personal opinions. I'm not an expert, but I may occasionally fake a tone that makes it sound like I think that I am. Don't worry. I don't. You don't have to heed anything I say. If I do say something that is just demonstrably incorrect, feel free to tell me. I'm perfectly willing, and completely expecting to be wrong about things, but I can't let the bitchy voice in my brain keep making all of the calls.